Friday, January 24, 2014

The Important Truth about 2014

A new year is well on it's way!  I am so excited to be in 2014.  This year I want to laugh more with my boys, get fit by working out, write more consistently, and speak about story telling.  These sound simple enough but, the truth is, when I think about what I have to do to make them happen, I am terrified!  Voices plague me:  You can't write.  No one wants to hear what you have to say.  You're not a warm fuzzy mom.  You are lazy.  You don't have time.  Your body is too far gone.  Your spelling makes you look incompetent.  You aren't fun or entertaining.  Maybe deep down there is something wrong with you. 

The past is really what haunts me.  As a storyteller every time someone finds a mistake in my writing my chest seizes up and a black hole sucks me back in time to my childhood where some teacher is correcting me in front of the whole class and I am once again stupid and incapable.   I remember how my sister was the writer, the funny one, the entertainer, the educator.  As a mother I see all my past shortcomings.  I replay all the things I regret like my own personal horror movie on a repeating tract.

But this is a new year and in 2014 I am going to work hard to remind myself that the past does not dictate my future.  I need to speak the truth to myself.  Here are some of the truths I choose to remember this year.   I do not have to be a “good writer” to be a good storyteller.  I wanted to document my stories for my boys that's why I started this blog.  Every day they are growing older and I find that I am racing against time to share what is in my heart with their hearts before it is too late.   My boys are the reason I tell stories.  They are why I have decided to put my flawed writing into cyber space for any to see.  My boys do not care if my spelling and grammar is less than impeccable, but they will care if they never hear the end of the Justly Story.  So I post for them.  That is the important truth.

The truth is my storytelling gives me connection with my boys.  Even on the worst day if I tuck my boys into bed and tell or read them a story then, at least, the last thing I did with them was something positive.  We  just might even laugh, have a deeper conversation, or come to some reconciliation.  I know this because it has happened before.  I will focus on my strengths as a mother and my boys will know that I love them.  That is the important truth.
The truth is there are others out there like myself who think they can’t tell stories to their children because they are not a writer or a storyteller.  It is my hope they will find that the benefits far out weigh the risks.  Storytelling has, in many ways, saved my relationship with my boys.  It has been a balm of healing, a tie that binds, and a bridge for deeper connection with them.  This year refuse to let voices from the past keep you from enjoying those benefits.  That is the important truth.

If you enjoy reading the stories I write for my boys that is an added blessing to me.  I hope you can see my spelling and grammar errors as my willingness to be vulnerable and share my humanity with you and my children.  I hope it inspires you this year to reach out and tell your own stories to your children.  You might be surprised by the important truth you discover.

Happy Tales!

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