Saturday, December 17, 2011

Two Birdies Who Couldn't Fly

If there is one thing that pushes me over the edge with my kids it's their incessant "It's not fair!"  I've come to the point where I don't even no what to say to that statement anymore.  Of course it's not fair.  Life never is.  Besides, I don't want it to be fair IF fair means every one gets the exact same thing.  Because to me that doesn't seem fair.  If one child gets a broken leg it's silly to break the other child's leg too. Right?  For me I'm realizing that fair means each child gets uniquely what he or she needs not necessarily what they want.  Which is never enough for them anyway.  Can you relate?

On the other hand, I have one child that is always hungry.  He eats because he's bored and needs stimulation and sometimes lacks a little imagination to supply these things for himself.  Should I just feed him to keep him busy and shut him up?   I have another child who gets so engaged in what he's doing he doesn't want to stop and eat.  It really is a fight to get him to eat when he's in a groove, but if he doesn't eat he has major meltdowns. Sometimes it's easier to ignore both of these different needs just so I can have a little peace and quite, but inevitably that backfires.  So what's a girl to do?

I thought maybe a healing story might be helpful for this issue of fairness.  The following story only begins to address the issue but it's simple and I think gets a clear and easy to follow point across to my kids.  Please feel free to try it out on your kids and tell me what you think.  Oh, and if inspired definitely make up your own healing story around this subject!


Two Little Birdies Who Couldn’t Fly

By Kristen S. Sandoz
Copyright 2011

There once was a momma bird that had a beautiful nest with two lovely eggs in it.  After some time the first egg hatched and an awkward baby bird came out.  From the moment this bird hatched he was a lot of work for the momma bird.  When he wasn’t demanding worms to eat he wanted his momma to cover him with her soft downy feathers and keep him warm.  He was often lonely and wanted her to sing to him in her pretty bird voice.
“Momma, I’m hungry.  Give me some worms!”

“Momma, I’m cold.  Keep me warm!”

“Momma, I’m lonely.  Sing to me!” 

These were the baby birds demands day and night until the momma was wore out.  After all he was a baby and babies need lots of love and care.  Soon the baby bird started to grow feathers in place of his downy fluff.

Then one day the second egg hatched and out came another awkward little baby bird.  He was a timid quiet bird and didn’t ask his momma for a lot of things.  Sometimes he went hungry because he never told his momma he wanted worms to eat.  Often he’d be cold and lonely because he never asked her to keep him warm and to sing to him.  He was after all a baby and didn’t quite know how to tell his momma what he needed.  The momma did give the second baby some of the things he needed but she was frequently overwhelmed and distracted by the loud demands of the first baby bird, who was even bigger now and required much more work than before. 

“Momma, I’m very hungry.  Give me some worms!”

“Momma, I’m very cold.   Keep me warm!”

“Momma, I’m very lonely.   Sing to me!” 

So the first baby bird grew bigger and bigger and the second baby bird grew weaker and weaker.  The momma didn’t notice the difference between her two baby birds.  She was too busy to see what her babies really needed.  She didn’t see that one could hardly move from his fatness while the other could hardly move from his weakness.

Then one day it was time for the two birds to learn to fly.  But can you imagine?  The first bird was too fat to fly.  He would only complain to his momma and say,

“Momma, I’m too hungry.  Give me some worms!”

“Momma, I’m too cold.  Keep me warm!”

“Momma, I’m too lonely.  Sing to me!” 

The second bird was too weak and frail to fly.  He would just lie in the nest limp and quiet, hoping his momma would feed him, keep him warm and sing to him, but she rarely did.

Sadly, neither of the birds ever learned how to fly!  The momma gave one bird too much and one bird too little.  She never gave either bird just what he really and truly needed. 

1…Now my story is done.
2…I love you!
3…Please, kiss me.

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